Quid Pro Quo

I'm not a typically empathetic person but when something terrible happens to someone you grew up with, there are really no words to describe the kind of pain you feel.

My cousin was my bestfriend for most of my youth and we basically did most of everything together. Our families were very close and and times we had were just plain old priceless.

I haven't seen her in so long. We haven't had a decent conversation in years. I blame this mostly on my inability to uphold a relationship with anyone. I don't so much have commitment issues but I can't seem to focus my attention on so many people and so many problems at the same time. You can say, I'm not very good at multi-tasking. Or rather, juggling relationships.

For the first time in years, we had one decent conversation on the phone. However, it was due to a very unfortunate event that this phone call had even happened. It was the first time I truly felt this frustrated and angry for my lack of power in a situation. And it was also the first time ever that I had cried to a voice on a phone.

The kind of sadness I heard in her voice. The cracking beneath all the strength. It seriously broke my heart. No one deserves this.

This is obviously a very private matter so I will not discuss the contents of the situation on a blog. Just know that whatever bad shit you befall upon anyone in your life will come back right back at you. In the worst possible way.

Shitty Shenanigans
Lyds - 1:05am